Why...

So, I sat down to write a post earlier tonight, and decided to go out to the gym first and post once I returned home. Well, I never made it to the gym, but I'm convinced that it wasn't for me to post earlier tonight. At that time, I was feeling anger, frustration, envy, and even a bit of jealousy. I found myself struggling to be grateful for all of the blessings taking place in the lives of my friends and family because I was so discouraged about my own life and its direction, but it's amazing how just a few hours can change everything completely.

Just a few hours these questions were circling my mind in a seemingly continuous loop..."Why can't things just come together for me in this season? Why can't God grant me the desires of my heart now? Why don't things seem to be getting any better for me? Why am I even still alive? Why...why...why?"...now, it's as if I completely understand (at least for this moment) why I haven't been granted the ultimate desires of my heart yet.

There is more out there for me to attain in my current place.

It would be great if I could be reminded of this simple truth in those daily times when I feel like crying and accepting my current position as my destiny...I wish I could remember this when I feel like giving up on myself and everything that I've worked so hard for...I wish I could be reminded of this truth when I become jealous of the places where others are in their life and get angry with God for not blessing me with the same or more.

I'll never know why life works the way it does...I'll just accept that there is always a clear answer for all of my "Why" questions...